monday

So our appt at Tulsa is now monday at 9:30. Yes in 3 days well have met our doctor (who i hear is straight to the point and very unique) and have an idea when we could possible start IVF. I cant believe its here. I can remember how i felt a year ago when i found out we couldnt go for a year due to insurance (or Gods hand now looking back). The many times i cried and my heart felt like it was breaking from all this. But now we are looking forward. I cant imagine what all this year will have instore for Jeremy and i. Im nervous and excited, overwhelmed and anxious. I have such a desire to be a mom and i know Jeremys going to be an amazing dad. I am concerned however if the fact that im sick a lot and that ive gained 60lbs in the last year. Im trying really hard to get some weight off but its such a struggle for me. Now that i understand a little more about PCOS I understand more of why i struggle so much with my weight. Ive stopped all cokes and trying to watch my sugar/carbs. I want to be as healthy for my future children, jeremy, and myself as i can. My mind is going so many places right now. Sorry if this blog entry is random with no order but if you know me you know thats normally how I am. So much to think about. Another thing i know this is crazy and premature but i thought i already had my names picked out and now im confused :/ there are certain names that i must include either as first or middle. First being Kreiger if its a boy this is my papaws last name and i always told him i would carry it on. 2nd Benjamin if boy this is after jeremys bf that passed away we would call him Benji. For a girl we would use my middle name Jane. I like the name Pason Jane but when i start to think of it forever i just dont know. Anyways if anyone has any suggestions i could love to hear them :)

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