one week

So today it has been a week sence my acccident. I still think about it a lot and get a little anxious when riding. (Which I've always had some). I went to work on Monday and I couldn't even think straight due to my pain. Its amazing I never realized how much I used my shoulder even for the littliest thing. I felt so outta place it just made me really sad. I love my job. Let me back track a little. The hospital put me in a sling for a week bc my shoulder and clavical were hurting. Friday I went to the MD bc my left hand kept swelling and I almost couldn't get my wedding bad off. I feel so weird without it. Anyways so they put me in a wrist brace and was told that it looked like I tore some of the muscles in my hand. Sunday my mom went back home. I really enjoyed her and my sister Janea being here. There is nothing like a mothers touch. So when I went to take my bath Sunday I figured I could undress myself (even though Jeremy and mom had all weekend) I took my sling off and raised my left arm not high but enough I could slide my shirt off well when I raised I heard a pop and now it just crackles and pops (that makes me think of rice krispies). Now I'm back where I started so Sunday night my shoulder started bothering me worse, Monday the pain cont. With no relief. I went back to the doctor he said my xrays from the hospital the day of the wreck looked like my clavical was fractured and that there was some kind of pocket around me shoulder. They did more xrays and some looked one way and some looked another. MD decided to give me a shot in my muscle in my shoulder to numb it to see if that would give me some relief. Well this was absolutely horrible. The tears were just rolling down my face and I actually hollared out a couple times. I've never reacted that way before and trust me I've been stuck hundreds of times even in my feet and never reacted this way. So he rubbed on my shoulder for about 5 mins trying to get the meds in my muscles that hurt so bad. He kept saying I can feel this band referring to a tendon. He took me off work a week and then put me in a shoulder immobilizer. I have to even sleep in it. He told me to come back Monday if it wasn't better they would get an mri bc he thinks I tore something in my shoulder. When I take the immobilizer off to get dressed or bath my shoulder shifts. It actually looks different than my other one. So I called yesterday and asked that they go ahead and schedule my mri so I can try to get it done while I'm off work. This will tell us if I'm going to have to have surgery or not. If I have to I just want to get it over with so I can go back to work and stop hurting so bad. Tonight I can't sleep its 3:26 in the morning and I've been awake a little before midnight. I woke up by rolling over to my left I woke up screaming it hurt so bad. Hopefully well have some results soon. A huge thank you to my mom for her help last weekend and jeremy for being so patient with me. I'm truly blessed in more ways than I could ever imagine.