this year

So yes I'm a planner, this is not always a good thing, actually more times than not its a bad thing. I knew what I wanted for this year. I have been planning it for over 2 years now. I knew when I got out of school, got a job, and got insurance I wanted to first thing go to the gyn and figure out why we have no little jeremy's running around after 2 1/2 years of trying. So that's what I did insurance started Jan 1st, Jan 8th I had my appointment and from there everything went very fast. Bloodwork, ultrasound, HSG, semen analysis appointment after appointment. So then we found out looks like Jeremy and I on our own are not going to be able to do this. So they set up an appointment with Arkansas Fertility and Gynecology. So last friday we were supposed to go, well thursday we got a call from AF&G saying my infertility is pre_existing and even though I have 100% coverage it will not be covered until Jan the 1st of next year that right Jan 2011. So yes I started to cry and have several times since then. I truly dnt understand but I have to have faith and believe that God is in control as I do. So jeremy still have some testing he's going to go through and my gyn is still going to monitor my cycles closely while we wait this year out. A year not that long right? I mean time flies by when ur having fun so a year will be over and done before we even know it, I mean think about it its almost already March. So now I'm at the point well what do I do with this year? Jeremy and I are going to try to get somethings paid off so at least we will be in a better financial situation come next year. And if adoption is our only choice we will have some money put back for that. Jeremy and I both truly want to have a family. I dnt understand ppl that don't want children. So what else to do with this year. Well jeremy and I are both very blessed in the fact that we both have good jobs. However either of us could go back to school to futhure our education but how do we know if that's what we should do or not. I really just don't know. I know what I want more than anything and that's to be a mom and jeremy to be a father but I also know that God knows what's best for us and that may not be what we need right now. So as Jeremy and I seek out what God wants for us this year I pray he will guide us and also guide u. For there are many things that can happen in a year and I hope that when I look back on this year it will not have just been wasted while I waited to try to have children but that I tried to better myself, and learn from every new opportunity that was placed in front of me. :)