not the day I had hoped for

Well apparently I have the stomach bug that's been going around work. I really don't like missing work :(. Today I found out that I won't be going friday to AF&G b/c my insurance says its preexisting since I went without insurance for 2 yrs. I have to have to be honest when I found out I got really upset. I feel like I've had to fight for everything I've ever wanted and I dnt really understand why I'm having to "fight" for this. But then I began to think that there are still options and that there are things Jeremy and I need to do and want to do so why not do them why its just us. Jeremy is going to still go to the urologist and I'm still going to try to get my cholesterol under control. I guess me loosing all this weight didn't help with my cholesterol levels or they were just really high from the beginning. At times I feel like I can't pray. I know its just because I'm afraid my answer will be no. I know that if it is no I have to learn to deal with it. I can't understand why some people have so many children but that they dnt want them and then there are people like us who have such a desire to have a family but can't. I know God is all knowing and all powerful. I pray he will help me and jeremy and everyone else who is going through the same thing. There are so many factors that go into having a child but so many people have no idea. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I'm just trying to tell my heart what my head already knows. Jeremy and I will get through this but I know its only bc our foundation is in our Lord Jesus christ. I'm sry for being angry but I know it will get better.