A Few Thoughts

So several different things have happened in the last couple of weeks. We are offically in the April cycle woot woot! I received all my paper work from TFC wednesday of this week. Which to be honest was really overwhelming as i read though it all even though ive read ten thousand articles and different books already on it. Ive had some drama at work the reality is that my job is just somewhat stressful people get mad when they are held accountable for doing there jobs but overall at work this week it wasnt too bad. I am trying very hard to not stress and be more relaxed.....well see how that goes. I was hurt by a friend this week. Honestly i cant remember the last time i have felt this way trying not to let it get me down but it did and does still bother me. Had girls night last night and it was amazing!! We added a new lady to our group and she is so neat and i just feel so comfortable around my girls and so blessed that God brought them into my lives bc Lord knows i need through support and guidance. Jeremy and i are doing well i do believe that this last year and just brought us so much closer together. Do you know not one time has he complained about any of the infertility stuff. Everything he has had to do everything we have had to discuss he has just been so supportive and truly wants the best for me and our family. Its just an amazing blessing and sometimes i have to Thank God for unanswered prayers and the broken roads that ive traveled and there at the end of them the beginning of my finding true self worth was my Jeremy my amazing husband who i still wonder why God gave him to me but i am so thankful.

*Monday I am going to order my meds. My box full of hopes and dreams and of course the sharp pointy things called needles but hey I will take a hundred shots a day if the end result but looking into the eyes of my child. Right now we are waiting for me to start my period then once i start i start on Birth Control. Thats seems a little crazy but thats part of the process. So technically we are already in our cycle going through the proper steps to get ready for the actually stimulating and everything. We have to go see a Stress Counselor on March 8th. We have to meet with the IVF insurance lady to find out exactly how much we owe and when payment will be do. We have to have IVF education where they walk us through everything and teach Jeremy how to administer my injections. Ill be able to give myself the SubQ ones but not the IM ones. I actually think Jeremy is excited about this he has a fasination with needles though so im not sure how good of a thing that is. I also still have to have a trail transfer and a ultrasound with contrast to make sure they know how far they will have to go in with the catheter on the day of transfer and the contrast to see how the inside of my uterus looks. It looks good from the outside praying it looks better from the inside. Once all these things are completed and ive finished my month of BC then we have a baseline ultrasound done and start the shots. Once we start the shots i will have blood work and an ultrasound done like every 2 days. They have to really make sure i dont over stimulate since i already for PCOS bc of this my ovaries are already large.

Wow i cant believe that this is all about to actually happen!! I feel overwhelmed but im trying not to stress. Im nervous about all the what ifs. But i know i just have to Trust in the Lord and he will give me the desires of my heart!!!

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