my brother

So I must say I love my brother so very much. We talked last night for like 2 hours. He was asking me about how our infertility treatment of going and I explained to him that it is kinda on hold. He was asking me about my insurance saying they are not gonna pay for the treatment just the diagnosis of infertity he says well you know arkansas passed a law that says they have to unless you have an hmo or are self employed. I'm glad I can say my brothers a lawyer ;) anyways so he said I needed to look up the law and see what all went under it to I did. Then I looked up my benefits and from what I read my insurance after a year which will be january it should pay 80% for the IVF innetwork. I can't even explain the joy that fills my heart thinking that this next year we could have IVF and might possibly have our own little miricale. To be honest this is all very scary for me. I wonder can I realy be a mom, will I be a good mom, can jeremy and I really do this? So many questions but I know it will all work out. We have decided on a boy name and a girl name already. Of course these are always subject to change.

So on a slightly different note my friend Lisa, who I came in contact with a year ago in Feb had her little miricale Thursday Dawson Paul. He is absolutely beauiful so many little details and I know there's not two ppl that deserve to be parents more than her and her husband Matt. She has truely been an inspiration for me as I have started traveling down the road of infertility and fertility treatment. I pray that I can help someone who is going through this the many ways she has helped me.

For now we wait as my mom pointed out today only 2 more months till my appointment. WOW! It seems so crazy that in 2 months Jeremy and I find out where this next year might take us. There is a lot of heart break with infertility and there is always a sence of loneliness but I know all of that will be so worth it when I can one day hold my little angle in my arms as I have seen Lisa and matt do this week. The expressions on their faces and their families and friends is priceless.