one more surgery

So last wednesday we went to TFC for a long day. This day was full of our IVF edu, Trail transfer and ultrasound with contrast, stress conseling, and to cross the Ts and dot the Is along with finding out how much and when the full payment was due.

Everything went well i could see that if you had no medical training that it would be very overwhelming.

The trail transfer and ultrasound with contrast was not near as painful as i had prepared myself for. Although they did find a polyp in my uterus so we are having another surgery this coming tuesday. This thankful has not messed our cycle up. As of right now we will have our baseline on 4/6 and then start our injections on 4/10. I can not believe that we are really here and really doing this. I dont really feel overwhelmed just amazed and anxious. Of course a little scared of it not working. However we are trying to stay positive and focus on the good things. As of right now it looks like by mid may we will know if we are pregnant or not. How weird does that sound? So we will wait and see what happens we arejust praying that God will prepare my body to be able to carry a child.

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Wednesday marks the start

So yestercday AF came! I am so truly thankful for this and believe that we are ment to be in the April cycle. Im nervous and excited a little overwhelmed by everything honestly. Im nervous about getting pregnant, im nervous about not getting pregnant, im nervous about miscarrying, im nervous about becoming a mom. So many different emotions running through my brain, heart , and soul. This is what we have hoped for, prayed for, dreamed of for 3 1/2 years now! Now thats its finally here i just cant believe it. Im ready to see what God allows to happen in our lives. I just have to continue to trust that no matter what happens Gods in control and everything happens in his perfect timing!

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a little broken hearted

BToday in church i sit behind this couple with their little baby. I watch the mother traces the babies face and run her fingers over his eye brows as he sleeps. She gazes down at him and just a little piece of my heart breaks. Of course im happy for this couple in front of Jeremy and I but its almost bitter sweet for us. Hoping one day soon well have our own little miracle.

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random thoughts

So I still have yet to start my period.....im taking the provera guess it might come after i finish it. This all keeps reminding me that even though i like being in control there are some things that are just completely out of your control! This is hard for me me. I cant believe its already March....this thursday is mine and jeremys 4 yr anniversary!! These four yrs have not been easy by any means but so well worth it. I cant believe that April will truly be here before we know it. Wow!!! My mind is in so many diiferent places trying to process everything weve been through and everything we are going to go through and it just cant. I went to conway this weekend and learned somemore about MK from my aunt so that was fun. However i dont like taking pics beside her anymore bc she lost like 60 lbs and is tiny and then well theres me......great right! I really like the MK stuff i think i just have to step out of my box a little and try harder. :) so for now we are still just waiting to see if i ever start!!!!!!

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